Moxy Fruvous - Bargainville Lyrics

Bargainville


Lyrics

River Valley (3:24)
Stuck in the 90's (4:26)
BJ Don't Cry (3:19)
Video Bargainville (4:15)
Fell in Love (4:24)
The Lazy Boy (3:14)
My Baby Loves a Bunch of Authors (2:33)
The Drinking Song (5:07)
Morphée (2:13)
King of Spain (2:58)
Darlington Darling (3:36)
Bittersweet (3:25)
Laika (2:53)
Spiderman (1:44)
Gulf War Song (4:02)


River Valley


(Dave)
Who will save the river valley? That's my drinking water
This was once a sacred place now, look at what we've got here
I'll pretend there isn't any problem, just do my job
And if I don't like the standard of living, go move to Russia...

(Dave & Jian)
Me and Pete went swimming last night, he's my friend from boy scouts
All the fish were floating upright, we got scared, and we got out
(Dave, w/ rest backing up certain phrases)
Mother says don't play down where your father does his job
And though he's got to make living, or move to Russia...

(Jian)
this is my world, this is my world, don't let it go away
is it a crime, spending my time, dreaming of yesterday

(Dave & Jian)
Meet me in the river valley, you can tell me stories
'Bout a time before pinstripe suits, dippers, grits, and tories

(Mike)
My mother sang the songs her mother taught her
and we'd be swimming off in cool, cool water
and when she'd call us from the yard
running home it felt like god...

(All)
This is my world, don't take it away...

(Dave & Jian)
Is your favourite place controlled by developing ambitions?
Do you think you'll have some power signing a petition?
Are you fine with your surroundings? Are they gonna crumble?
I'm living in the river valley, come and join me for a tumble!

(Mike)
High up above, see the cars up on the viaduct
from sunrise to the last call - they push their luck
and that would be fine
if the world was yours, and you were mine

(All)                              (Mike)
Who will save the river valley?    (this is my world)
Who will save the river valley?    (this is my world) 
Who will save the river valley?    (this is my world)

Who will save the river valley?

From the Liner:
(Mike-vocals, woodblock; Murray-vocals, electric guitar; Jean-vocals, snare drum; Dave-lead vocal, acoustic guitar)


Stuck in the 90's (Clem)


(Jian w/ Dave on certain harmonies)
Clem had a daydream, daydream from heaven
Picked up the headline, his country was made up of singers
And no more right-wingers

He wakes up to "Homeless are stupid, welfare is stupid
Private investment efficiency, cool fiscal plannin'"
Sounds like more Pat Buchanan

Back in his day job this afternoon
Unlikely he'll move down to Cuba soon

Reluctant to find he's stuck in the 90's again

Clem reads of the old days, twenty years goes a long ways
"Challenge the system!" Relating is easy on a demo...
(Mike)
Did I meet you on that demo?
(Jian)
Now they'll send it by memo
(Mike)
Fax me a memo

(Jian)
'Cause there's no need for the Peace Sign, 'Post Republican "Peace Time"
Join the parade, wave the flag, Tell the world it's your lackey
Abbie Hoffman was wacky

Riding the bike to his foreign car
Burning his mind in his VCR

Reluctant to find he's stuck in the 90's again

(All)
Reluctant to find he's stuck in the 90's again

(Jian, w/ rest doing harmonies)
and he's lost...
don't you know what it's like to be lost?
and older..."tears on his shoulder"
real men are BOLDER!!

(harmonica solo)

(Jian)
Soon I'll be 30, I don't want to be 30
I've got some big plans, goodwill has some big hands
With each new computer screen, the world tells me I'm more green
Buy a new Game-Boy!

(All)
For the fun and the fashion...Just for the passion

(Jian)
Back in his day job this afternoon
Unlikely he'll move down to Cuba soon

(All)
Reluctant to find he's stuck in the 90's again
Reluctant to find he's stuck in the 90's again

(everyone but Jian)
White lies, rich guys, hoarding a big prize

(Jian)
Reluctant to find he's stuck in the 90's again
(rest)
We've got work to do

(All)
Reluctant to find he's stuck in the 90's again

From the Liner:
(Mike-vocals, harmonica; Murray-vocals, bass, anvil; Jean-lead vocal, bass drum, tambourine; Dave-vocals, guitar, accordion)


B.J. Don't Cry


(All)
Never had a girl to call his own...

(Mike speaking)
From the Fruvous Quill comes a sorry tale of love and illin'
Romeo found the balcony too high, ended up with second billin'
She loved in triplicate, left his heart a blank to fill in
Lost his faith immaculate when cupid became a villian

(Dave & Jian)
B.J. Don't cry no more
Wonders what his heart is beating for
Says he takes it much too hard
Give my regards to B.J.

(Mike speaking)
In a fit of rage he tore down all her gifts and promises
Sick and tired of hearing 'bout those Harry, Dick, and Thomasses
Banished her for life he did, right then and there, from the premises
Once Holy Virgin Queen, now on the scene, his nemesis

(All)
B.J. Don't cry no more
Wondered what his heart was beating for
Says he takes it much too hard
Give my regards to B.J.

(Mike)
He thought about his life, his heart began to rush
He buried the crown, found a bucket and a brush
BJ paints town...

(Mike speaking)
Foot Foot...

(Others)
La la la la la la...
La la la la la.

(Mike speaking)
Now on the street our wounded soul is looking quite Gregarial
Heart of tin has shed his skin, given it a hefty burial
As with logic, as with reason, as with science actuarial
Rallied 'round the Fruvous Flag, burnt the kitchen, raised the aerial

(All)                                       (All)
B.J. Don't cry no more                      Never had a girl to call his own
Found out what his heart was beating for    Never strayed too far from hearth and home
Says he takes it much too hard              He's our Messiah
Give my regards to B.J.

(All)
Turn it over, little man

(Mike, w/ others singing "B J")
He took a trip, BJ's on a train
Far far away, but he'll be back again one rainy day

(All)
B.J. Don't cry no more 
B.J. Don't cry no more 

(Mike speaking)
So there we have a story lived in person told by proxy
'Bout a mild-mannered mannequin, every Friday hit the Roxy
Till there his own reflection, showed him his orthodoxy
Now he hikes the Himmalayas, stuffs his letters full of moxy!

(All)                                       (All)
B.J. Don't cry no more                      Never had a girl to call his own
Found out what his heart was beating for    Never strayed too far from hearth and home
Says he takes it much too hard              He's our Messiah
Give my regards to B.J.

He says he takes it much too hard           He's our Messiah
Give my regards to B.J.

(Mike)
And now he's swinging in the yard,
he's the junior bard,
with the Juliard

(All)
B.J.

From the Liner:
(Mike-lead vocal, guitar, guirra; Murray-vocals, bass; Jean-vocals, snare; Dave-vocals, accordion)


Video Bargainville


(Jian, speaking/whispering)
Take... We can take a trip up to the corner...
corner... corner... It's not too far...

Ok, I'm ready, anytime.

(Jian)
I have a college pal who
Says we can pay one price for two
Uhh, Just ask for 'Roger', at 

(All)
Video Bargainville

(Spoken by Jian)
We can take a trip up to the corner, it's not too far, especially in the car
There's a friendly store with nice decore, and lots of posters on the door
Once past the counter and the news stand, with a free bag of popcorn in your hand
You're ready for the world - No, not the band...But a fine selection in video land

Don't be too confused by the little reviews
On the back of the box, just pick up the boxes, all the boxes you can use
The hipedi-hoppest videos in the land
Maybe something foreign, maybe something panned, maybe something formerly banned
Perhaps it's something you can watch with friends, or something that inevitably lends
Itself to shapely curves and bends of exploited women and their friends
Perhaps it's "New York, New York" with Liza Minnelli and Mickey Rourke
No. That's not right... It was Robert Deniro, everyone's favorite video hero

(All)
I have a college pal who
Says we can pay one price for two
Just ask for 'Roger'
At Video Bargainville

(Jian speaking)
So contrary to the desparate sign, most patrons always "please rewind!"
And the clerks don't mind, they're very kind, the only stickler has resigned
There's a courteous smoking section in the back, behind the bulging exercise video rack
If you're tired, you can hit the sack with the new Ben-Hur trendy disco double pack

(All)
I have a college pal who
Says we can pay one price for two
Just ask for 'Roger'
At Video Bargainville

(Solos - and spoken words by Jian (regarding movies) that really can't be made out)

???I recall, not so long ago, walking into Video Bargainville...you 
know [???] stores not unlike most post-World War Two capitalist
democracy video stores.  My father and I rented Moonstruck with 
Cher, I've always had a soft spot for Cher...[???]...depending 
on how long her hair is, or how long the film is - but that's 
another story.???

(funny voices)
Once we had a friend
was too extravagant
Was not a Bargainville fan

(Jian)
pissed off the video man!

Soon there will be "program your own" TV, So they ask you to heed this final plea
Before it's all dead you should rent more, and enjoy video bargains galore!!

(repeated 3 times)
I have a college pal who
Says we can pay one price for two
Just ask for 'Roger'
At Video Bargainville

From the Liner:
(Mike-vocals, electric guitar, kabasa, money, flexi-tone; Murray-vocals, bass; Jean-lead vocal, snare; Dave-vocals, accordion, scream; Doug McClement-disfunctional youth)


Fell In Love


(Dave)
Something I never would have known
Not knowing knowledge never ennobles
All her ideas were like smoke rings, I had to know things
She was a tangle of questions

How many eggs make up a pound?
How many ears of corn in the niblets? 

(Jian)
And how big was the bag?

(Dave)
I was a person who would censor "Pee Wee's Adventure"
She was exceedingly liberal 

(Mike, then Jian) 
Was she?

(All)
And we fell in love
And the sunshine shone from the sunshine above
Fell in love, whole loaf love

(Dave, w/ "wide...wide" being sung during second line by Jian & Mike)
Try not to think while your inside
Yes keep your wide eyes wide wide open

(Jian) 
Keep your eyes open wide

(Mike) 
Keep them wide

(Dave)
I made a meal of the lighting, this was exciting

(All)
We had a real urban drama

(Dave)
She always said it again 

(Jian & Mike)
She always said it again

(Dave)
Just when she'd said it, that's when she'd say it 

(Jian & Mike)
how's that again?

(Dave)
She said my pasta was delicious, bit repititious

(All)
That kind of thing made me crazy

(All)
And we fell in love
And the sunshine shone from the sunshine above
Fell in love, whole loaf love

(Dave)
Take a look around, sun has gone down
And I've had a good time, have you had a good time?

(All)
I've loved without loss, I've put down my cross
You know what I know, an' I'm going go

(Dave, w/ "on fire" being sung by Jian & Mike)
She set my schoolhouse on fire
Down in the fire the angels are singing

(Mike, then Jian)
On fire

(Dave)
Notice a beautiful fire 

(All)
heavenly choir

Ahh...Ahh...Ahh...Ahh...

From the Liner:
(Mike-vocals; Murray-bass; Jean-vocals, tambourine; Dave-lead vocal, guitar)


Lazy Boy


(Jian)
I have a life of pleasure
I am submerged in armchair leisure
I put my feet on the ottoman 

(All)
empire!

(Jian)
Here in a world of turmoil
I have my comfort in control
And the answer's reclining 

(All)
it's obvious

(Jian)                              (rest)
Here I sit and here I say           the lazy boy
"Hello to U.S.A. today!"            the lazy boy
Dollywood and Billy Ray             the lazy boy
A place to pass the time away       the lazy boy

(Murray speaking)
Lazy!

(Jian)
Here I keep tabs on Euro-stocks
I have a stereo that rocks!
And I take calls in the bathtub 

(All)
it's cellular

(Jian)
There is a console to my right
With reruns of Charlie's Angels every night
I can't keep track of the blond one 

(All)
the third one

(Jian)                              (rest)
Here I sit and here I say           the lazy boy
"Hello to U.S.A. today!"            the lazy boy
Dollywood and Billy Ray             the lazy boy
A place to pass the time away       the lazy boy
    
(Jian speaking, w/ others joining in slowly)
At the end of the day it's the chair I trust
The cushion is comfy and the works don't rust
With a straight line of vision to my Elvis bust
Watch the kingdom, eat the bread crust
Fine all the time is the way I feel
Cracking the code of the "Let's make a deal!"
I can change my world 'cause my boy's on wheels
Improve your lifestyle, you must get real!

(Jian)
I was a down and out Canuck
Now I have put my faith in lazy luck
Since they removed all the barriers 

(All)
49th parallel

(Jian)                              (rest)
Here I sit and here I say           the lazy boy
"Hello to U.S.A. today!"            the lazy boy
Dollywood and Billy Ray             the lazy boy
A place to pass the time away       the lazy boy

Here I sit and here I say           the lazy boy
"Hello to U.S.A. today!"            the lazy boy
Dollywood and Billy Ray             the lazy boy
A place to pass the time away       the lazy boy

From the Liner:
(Mike-vocals, conga; Murray-vocals; Jean-lead vocals, drums, chicken shakers, tambourine; Dave-vocals)


My Baby Loves a Bunch of Authors


(Dave)
Well you should see my story reading baby, you should hear the things that she says,
She says "Hon, drop dead, I'd rather go to bed with Gabriel Garcia Marquez."

(Mike in funny voice)
Uhh-huh!

(Dave)
Cuddle up with William S. Burrows, leave on the light for Bell Hooks,
I've been flirtin' with Pierre Burton 'cause he's so smart in his books

(All)
I like to go out dancing,
My baby loves a bunch of authors
My heart's so broke and bleedin'
(Dave)
Baby's just sitting there 
(Murray)
doing some reading

(Dave)
So I started watching some TV, played my new cd player too,
She said: "Turn it off or I'll call the cops and I'll throw the book at you."
All this arguing made me get dizzy, called my doctor to come have a look
I said: "Doctor hurry!" He said:
(Murray)
"Don't worry, I'll be over when I finish my book"

(All)
I like to go out dancing,
My baby loves a bunch of authors
We've been livin in hovels
(Dave)
Spendin' all our money on
(Murray)
brand new novels

(Dave)
So I got myself on a streetcar and it drove right into someone,
You know the driver said:

(Jian in grizzly voice) 
"I was lookin' straight ahead!" 

(Dave)
But he was reading the Toronto Sun

(Jian) 
"So?"

(Dave)
So my honey and me go to a counsellor to help figure out what we need
She said: "We'll get your love growing, 

(Mike, in funny Dr. Ruth voice) 
but before we get going, here's some books I'd like you to read."

(All)
I like to go out dancing,
My baby loves a bunch of authors
Lately we've had some fricton
(Dave)
'Cause my baby's hooked on
(Murray)    
short works of fiction

(Dave)
So we split and went to a party, some friends my girl said she knew
But what a sight 'cause it's authors night and the place looks like a who's who

(Dave)
Now I'm pounding the ouzo 

(rest)
with Mario Puzo

(Dave)
Who's a funny fella? 

(rest)
W.P. Kinsella

(Dave)
Who brought the cat? 

(rest)
Would Margeret Atwood?

(Dave)
Who needs a shave? 

(rest)
He's Robertson Davies!

(Dave)
Ondaatje started a food fight, salmon mousse all over the scene

(All)
Spilled some dressing on Doris Lessing, these writer types are a scream!

(All)
I like to go out dancing,
My baby loves a bunch of authors
We'll be together for ages
(Dave)
Eatin' and Sleepin' and
(Jian in grizzly voice)
Eatin' and Sleepin' and
(Mike in funny Dr. Ruth voice)
Eating und Sleeping und 
(Murray)    
Turnin' pages.

(All)
Yeah!

From the Liner:
(Mike-vocals; Murray-vocals, bass, spring muffler; Jean-vocals, sheet metal, snare; Dave-lead vocal, guitar)


The Drinking Song


(Mike)
And the band played on
As the helicopters whirred
Drunk on the lawn in a nuclear dawn
My senses finally blurred

He was a rock, to the end, a solid reminder
Couldn't deny a friend

(Mike & Jian)
We lived in the noise and the sweet amber poison

(Mike)
Peekin' up the skirt of the end

And we'd drink, two gnarly dudes and some records
Much like plates of black food

(Mike & Jian)
We filled up our faces, saw some far places

(Mike)
Stood on the roof in the nude

(All)
And the band played on
As the helicopters whirred
Drunk on the lawn in a nuclear dawn
My senses finally blurred

(Mike)
Between poles, he said "We're like cows in the grass"
Brushing off flies

(Mike & Jian)
Chaise lounging around, standing up, falling down

(Mike)
Till we no longer opened our eyes

And we'd drink, ever notice how drinking's like war?
Cup o' troops o'er the gums

(Mike & Jian)
To the end of our health, a campaign 'gainst myself

(Mike)
Armed with bourbons and scotches and rums

(All)
And the band played on
As the helicopters whirred
Drunk on the lawn in a nuclear dawn
My senses finally blurred

(Mike)
Think of bombs, we're poised on the edge of disaster
Whether it's right or it's wrong

(Mike & Jian)
We opened the window, played some Nintendo

(Mike)
Sang a few bars of some pretty old song:

(All)
Irene goodnight, Irene goodnight
Goodnight Irene, goodnight Irene

(Mike)
I'll see you in my dreams

Oh to dream, those impotent bones of extinction
Flying graceful and free

(Mike & Jian)
None but the best 'cause the man cannot rest

(Mike)
Till he's finally beaten his me

(All)
And the band played on
As the helicopters whirred
Drunk on the lawn in a nuclear dawn
My senses finally blurred

(Mike)
Till the end, he passed out on the sundeck that morning
Quietly saying goodbye

(Mike & Jian)
But I was so hammered I sputtered and stammered

(Mike)
Told him he couldn't just die

He was a rock, went straight for his own Armageddon
Face froze in a grin

(Mike & Jian)
Ambulance flyin' in, I never drank again

(Mike)
Can't really call that a loss or a win

(All, acappella)
And the band played on
As the helicopters whirred
Drunk on the lawn in a nuclear dawn
My senses finally blurred

From the Liner:
(Mike-lead vocal; Murray-vocals; Jean-vocals, bomb; Dave-vocals, guitar, accordion)


Morphee


(Mike)
Longue journée
Qui s'achève dans une chambre foncée
J'entends au loin les sirenes
Qui comme une vague me tirent, m'amènent
Chez Morphée
Emerveillé

(Mike & Jian)
Ce doux piège
Ou les gammes en délire s'arpègent
M'emportent si loin des villes

(Mike)
Et je fuis, 

(Mike & Jian)
je fuis les escadrilles du privelège
Beau sortilège

(guitar and "Ahh" solo)

(Mike & Jian)
On solde les vieux pays au marché des gorilles
Caché dans les bras de Morphée je rène
Nemo en exil

Sur mes rêves fragiles

From the Liner:
(Mike-lead vocal; Murray-guitar; Jean-vocals; Dave-vocals, guitar)


King of Spain


(Dave as The King)                        (Mike & Jian)
Once I was the King of Spain              now I eat humble pie
Oh... my unspeakable wife, Queen Lisa     now I eat humble pie
I'm telling you I was the King of Spain   now I eat humble pie
And now I work at the Pizza Pizza

(Jian yelling)
1 2 3 4!

(Dave)
Royalty, lord it looked good on me
Buried in silk in the royal boudoir or going nuclear free
Or playing Crokinole with the Princess of Monaco
Telling my jokes to the OPEC leaders, getting it all on video

(Dave)                                    (rest)
Once I was the King of Spain              now I eat humble pie 
A palatial palace, that was my home       now I eat humble pie 
I'm telling you I was the King of Spain   now I eat humble pie 
And now I vacuum the turf at SkyDome

(rest)
Once he was the King of Spain

(Dave)
I can't wait, I'm lowering interest rates, my people say:

(Jian speaking in a funny voice)
"King, how are you such a genius?

(Murray speaking)
There's a roof overhead

(Mike speaking in a funny voice)
and food on our plates!"

(Dave)
It's laissez-faire, I don't even give a care
Let's make Friday part of the weekend
And give every new baby a chocolate eclair

(Dave)                                               (rest)
Once I was the King of Spain                         now I eat humble pie 
Hey Clinton! Hey Yeltsin! Got problems? 
You phone me                                         now I eat humble pie 
I'm telling you I was the King of Spain              now I eat humble pie 
Now the Leafs call me up to drive the Zamboni

(rest)
Once he was the King of Spain

(Dave speaking)
Ladies and Gentlemen, I introduce to you the international orchestra!

(rest do vocal solos)

(Dave speaking)
Now some of you might be wondering how I came to be living in Canada
after being royalty in Spain. Should I tell them, guys?

(everyone yelling but Dave)
Tell us, King!

(Dave)
You see late one night when the palace was asleep
Out of my royal chambers and into the garden I creep
And I wait till the appointed time, when the moon is lighting the pitch
At which point my peasant friend, who looks just like me
Arrives and we make switch!

(rest gasp)

(Dave)
Prince and pauper, junior and whopper
World made up of silver and copper
Under my own volition, I took a change of position
So next time you drool in the pizza line
Remember, slower pizza's more luscious

(All)
The King of Spain never rushes!!!

(Dave)                                            (rest)
Once I was the King of Spain                      now I eat humble pie 
I was lookin' for off-handed ways to improve us   now I eat humble pie 
I'm telling you I was the King of Spain           now I eat humble pie 
And now I'm jamming with Moxy Fruvous!

(rest)
Once he was the King of Spain

From the Liner:
(Mike-vocals, conga; Murray-vocals; Jean-vocals, bass drum, shakers, go-go bells, sheet metal; Dave-lead vocal)


Darlington Darling


(Mike)
Down the line, comin' down the line, a V6 Merc in blue
Without the sparks or distributer cap, I'll slap them on as it rides through
8 to 4 on the assembly floor, watchin' V6 Mercs slide through
I can drive and she can drive, but this car's made for you

(Mike)
I'd like to buy her one

(rest)
where 'ya gonna get the money son

(Mike)
I'd like to buy her two

(rest)
but you'll never find the right bijou

(Mike)
I'd like to buy her three

(rest)
but you're workin' in a factory

(Mike)
And I'd like to buy her more
Than this blue collar can afford

(Mike, w/ rest doing supporting/call-back lines)
Down the line, Chipper down the line's got a cottage up on Scugogg
Last Christmas bash he spent all his cash plyin' Mr. Bewdley with eggnog
He got the raise and from what he says he'll have that love nest paid off soon
I got the keys, but my girlfriend, she's not getting off till Sunday noon

(Mike)
I'd like to buy her one

(rest)
where 'ya gonna get the money son

(Mike)
I'd like to buy her two

(rest)
but you'll never find the right bijou

(Mike)
I'd like to buy her three

(rest)
but you're workin' in a factory

(Mike)
Said I'd like to buy her more
Than this blue collar can afford

(Jian speaking in background)
Dog eat, dog eat!

(accordion solo)

(man speaking in background)
Hey, Chipper! Get back to work, you greaseball!

(Jian)
I'd like to buy her one
(Jian & Dave)
I'd like to buy her two
I'd like to buy her three
(Jian, Dave & Murray)
I'd like to buy her more

(Mike)
In Darlington, lies my darling one - she fills my thoughts each day
Half a mile from the cooling towers, I sure hope that she's okay

(Mike)
I'd like to buy her one

(rest)
where 'ya gonna get the money son

(Mike)
And I'd like to buy her two

(rest)
but you'll never find the right bijou

(Mike)
Oh, I'd like to buy her three

(rest)
but you're workin' in a factory

(Mike)
Yes, I'd like to buy her more
Than this blue collar can afford

(Jian yelling)
1 2 3!

(instrumental outro)

(All)
Down, down, down down down...
Down, down, down down down...
Down, down, down down down...
Down, down, down down down...

Down, down, Darlington...
Down, down, Darling one...
Down, down, Darlington...
Down, down, Darling one!

From the Liner:
(Mike-lead vocal, guitar; Murray-vocals, bass; Jean-vocals, drums; Dave-vocals, accordion)


Bittersweet


(Murray on lead, w/ others doing supporting harmonies)
Now all of the planes have landed
And the soldiers are in their beds
Smoke rises from their clothing
And sweet dreams through their heads

Truth faced leaves a strange taste
When joy and sadness meet
A country rain on a city street
This life is bittersweet

The boy with the bloated belly
Hears today's trucks arrive
He puts down his baby sister
And makes his way outside

Truth faced leaves a strange taste
When joy and sadness meet
A country rain on a city street
This life is bittersweet

Everyone's a novelist
And everyone can sing
But no one talks when the TV's on...

(guitar solo)

(rest)
Sweet dreams fill their heads...

(Murray)
The lightning flashed, and the thunder rolled
and dark clouds filled the sky
A country rain on a city street
This life is bittersweet

From the Liner:
(Mike-vocals, bass drum; Murray-lead vocal, guitar; Jean-vocals, tambourine, sheet metal; Dave-vocals, bass)


Laika


(Mike)
When I was 3, my mother said to me
Eat up your greens and say your grace
While on TV they put a dog in space
And left her there... you shoulda seen her face

(Mike)
When I was 5, the dream was still alive
And Walter Cronkite said: "One day we'll earn our daily bread
Conducting things in outer space"
But still on earth I thrive... and you pretend I'm not alive

(All)
And walk by with my substitute
(Mike through distortion)
While I fasten the oxygen valve
On my space suit

(Mike)
When I was 8, we shared a cloakrack - it was great
And I pretended I had so much on my plate
I had a speech to write, about moonshot trajectory
And during phonics class, perfected my delivery

(All)
Now the band's playing "Hail to the Chief"
(Mike through distortion)
While my capsule's out floating by some
Tropical reef

(Mike)
all the experts can agree on

(All)
regarding your motives
in the cape canaveral crash... 
is that they know nothing

(Jian, Mike, & Dave alternate the following lines)
it puzzles me so...
it puzzles me so...
it puzzles me so...

(Mike)
Now I'm full grown, and I've a spacecraft of my own
But there you sit, still upon your Earthly throne
Hey darling, throw this space-pup a bone
Don't touch that dial, don't hang up that phone

[The following section is repeated several times, ending the tune]

(Jian & Dave)
Band's playin' hail to the chief
(Murray)
It puzzles me so...
(Mike)
Don't hang up that phone

From the Liner:
(Mike-lead vocal, acoustic guitar; Murray-vocals, bass; Jean-vocals, conga, wooden door percussion; Dave-vocals, electric guitar)


Spiderman


(Mike)
Spiderman, Spiderman
Friendly neighborhood Spiderman
Is he strong? Listen bud,
He's got radioactive blood
Hey there 

(rest)
where? 

(Mike)
there goes the Spiderman

(Mike)
Spiderman, Spiderman
Does whatever a spider can
Shooby Doo, rock steady crew
Find him an octoped ingenue
With flair 

(rest)
hair! 

(Mike)
there goes the Spiderman

(All)
In the heat of night at the scene of crime
With the speed of light he arrives just in time

(Mike speaking in funny voice)
Well, no red-blooded boy or girl would miss this Saturday's
appearance of Spiderman down at the local county fair, unless,
of course, they're at home with their collections.

(Mike)
Spiderman's master plan
Build his own little spider clan
In the woods, now they're troops
Fighting for special interest groups
Look out 

(rest)
where? 

(Mike)
wherever there's a bang 

(rest)
there!

(Mike)
You'll find a great big hang 

(rest)
scare!

(Mike)
You'll find the 

(All)
Spiderman!

(Mike)
Scoobydoobydoobydoobydobow!

(Mike speaking)
My spider sense is tingling
Heh, heh, it sure is, in such films as:
Spidey Goes Speed Racing
Spidey Hawaii
Spidey's Girl
Spidey, My Pal
Spidey, The Under Water Adventure Seeker
Spidey, The Fun Licker
Spidey, A Drink For All Ages

original song written by Stephen Lemberg


Gulf War Song


(All, with Dave on lead melody)
We got a call to write a song about the war in the Gulf
But we shouldn't hurt anyone's feelings
So we tried, then gave up, 'cause there was no such song
But the trying was very revealing
What makes a person so poisonous righteous
That they'd think less of anyone who just disagreed?
She's just a pacifist, he's just a patriot
If I said you were crazy, would you have to fight me?

Fighters for liberty, fighters for power
Fighters for longer turns in the shower
Don't tell me I can't fight, 'cause I'll punch out your lights
And history seems to agree that I would fight you for me

So we read and we watched all the specially selected news
And we learned so much more 'bout the good guys
Won't you stand by the flag? Was the question unasked
Won't you join in and fight with the allies?
What could we say...we're only 25 years old?
With 25 sweet summers, and hot fires in the cold
This kind of life makes that violence unthinkable
We'd like to play hockey, have kids and grow old

Fighters for Texaco, fighters for power
Fighters for longer turns in the shower
Don't tell me I can't fight 'cause I'll punch out your lights
And history seems to agree that I would fight you for me
That us would fight them for we

He's just a peacenik and she's just a warhawk
That's where the beach was, that's where the sea
What could we say...we're only 25 years old?
And history seems to agree 
that I would fight you for me
That us would fight them for we

Is that how it always will be?

From the Liner:
(Mike-vocals; Murray-vocals; Jean-vocals; Dave-lead vocal)



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